Why the ‘Jaws’ Doc Director Swears Off All Shark Sequels
So apparently the man who spent two years diving into the lore of Jaws still can’t sit through its follow-ups without cringing. The Jaws doc director has officially vowed never to subject himself—or his audience—to another cinematic shark snafu. In a recent sit-down with the New York Post, he labeled the franchise’s three sequels as “creative indigestion” and “a scavenger hunt for budget cuts.” Variety corroborates that he refused even to screen the infamous Jaws: The Revenge, calling it “a masterclass in how not to follow up a blockbuster.”
He explained that after poring over original sets, storyboard sketches and 1975 box office receipts, the magic of Spielberg’s baby shark is best left untouched. Deadline reports he even turned down a cameo request in a reboot pitch, quipping that he’d rather watch paint dry than watch another mechanical shark flop on screen. If you ever needed proof that hindsight isn’t 20/20, here it is on full display: he’s convinced the only proper tribute to Jaws is “a feature-length eulogy for its sequels.”
Naturally, every third sentence drips with that patented roast-master tone. When asked why studios keep churning out shark sequels, he sighed so theatrically that crew members asked if he needed an oxygen tank. “They say demand drives supply,” he deadpanned, “but apparently audiences have been sleeping through Jaws 2 since ’78.” He even compared Jaws 3-D to a mall attraction gone wrong, saying it “looks better on an outdated IMAX poster than on any screen.”
Despite the digs, he insists this isn’t bitterness talking—it’s conviction backed by data: the original pulled in $470 million worldwide, while Jaws: The Revenge managed a paltry $52 million and a 0% critical score on Rotten Tomatoes. He’s woven these stats into his documentary’s final act, aiming to prove that sometimes less truly is more. His thesis? Sequels should be like rare shark sightings: exhilarating, unpredictable, and definitely not overstuffed.
He wrapped up the interview with a chuckle, admitting even editing out bloopers felt like a betrayal of Spielberg’s masterpiece. If this dry-witted rant hasn’t convinced you to cancel your sequel marathon, maybe it’s time to listen to someone who’s stared down real sharks—and incompetent studio execs—up close. Tune in next time for more bad decisions and questionable life choices.
Sources: Celebrity Storm and New York Post, Variety, Deadline
Attribution: Creative Commons Licensed
