Tory Lanez Survives 14 Stabs, Collapsed Lung in Prison Assault
Apparently, “prison hospitality” now includes 14 additional stab wounds and a side of collapsed lung. The one thing missing from Tory Lanez’s career resume was probably a live-action prison stabbing. Because who wouldn’t want to add “bulletproof vest required” to their daily wardrobe, right? According to TMZ’s May 12, 2025 report, Lanez was ambushed by a fellow inmate in a federal facility. Law enforcement sources confirmed the Oakland-born rapper was attacked in what appears to be a targeted assault. It’s almost impressive how quickly a man can go from chart-topping hits to guillotine fantasies. Official records indicate Lanez suffered 14 stab wounds across his head and upper body. Medical staff rushed him to a prison hospital, where X-rays revealed a punctured lung that had fully collapsed. Naturally, administrators treated this like a Tuesday afternoon office chair swap. Prison officials have launched an internal investigation to untangle how the assault unfolded. A source close to the investigation told Rolling Stone that surveillance footage is being reviewed frame by frame. Because apparently real-time security is too mainstream for the federal system. No motive has been officially disclosed, but insiders speculate Lanez’s high-profile status played a role. Some speculate rival inmates might have seen an opportunity to claim notoriety by targeting the Grammy-nominated artist. Inmates thinking “15 minutes of fame” means stabbing someone—creative, if wildly delusional. Legal experts say the attack could influence Lanez’s ongoing appeals process, potentially swaying judicial sentiment. Lanez, currently serving a 10-year sentence for discharging a firearm, has pleaded not guilty to lesser charges. Because nothing screams “rehabilitation” like cage fighting over toilet paper roll protocols. His defense team is reportedly considering requesting a transfer to a more secure facility. An attorney for Lanez provided a statement: “We are concerned for our client’s safety and expect a thorough review.” Spoiler alert: the “thorough review” might take as long as his sentence. This incident reopened debates about inmate safety and federal prison protocols. Senators have hinted at renewed pressure to upgrade prison surveillance and staffing levels. Nothing like a good stabbing to remind lawmakers why budgets exist. Media outlets from Complex to People Magazine have highlighted the severity of Lanez’s injuries. Fans have taken to social media wishing him a speedy recovery and debating prison reform. Because clearly, Twitter is the ultimate safe space for heartfelt empathy. This isn’t the rapper’s first brush with incarceration, but it’s undoubtedly the most violent. Prison spokespeople say they’re committed to preventing subsequent incidents and protecting high-profile inmates. Call me old-fashioned, but I’d prefer a prison playlist that doesn’t feature sirens and screams. Lanez’s medical condition is described as stable, though doctors warn recovery could be lengthy. His management team has requested privacy for the artist and will provide updates as details emerge. In other news, “privacy” in a prison is just a myth passed down by mythical creatures. Meanwhile, the rapper’s chart positions remain on hold as the music world watches closely. Expect more developments once the Department of Justice wraps up its investigation. Tune in next time for more stabbing revelations and questionable life choices.
Sources: Celebrity Storm and TMZ, Rolling Stone, People Magazine
Attribution: Creative Commons Licensed
