Rosie’s Roast: Bezos’ ‘Fake Fembot’ Wedding Sparks Outrage
If your idea of wedding entertainment is a bored billionaire saying “I do,” meet the true headliner: Rosie O’Donnell’s savage Instagram sneak attack. Friday’s Bezos–Sanchez nuptials may have drawn Sydney Sweeney, Orlando Bloom, and the KarJenners, but it was Rosie’s digital drag show—labeling Lauren Sanchez a “fake fembot wife”—that stole the spotlight.
In her Monday Instagram post, Rosie uploaded a side-by-side of Sanchez before and after becoming “Mrs. Bezos,” complete with a scathing caption that questioned how Jeff Bezos could swap MacKenzie Scott—“salt of the earth,” per O’Donnell—for what she called a “high-gloss hologram.” Three times we’ve heard billionaires love “authenticity,” and three times they’ve clearly meant “authentic yacht parties.”
Linking to her Substack in the same swipe, Rosie unleashed a poetic broadside: Bezos “sold his soul to the devil” and paraded his fortune in a “gross excess” wedding that “turned my stomach.” It’s one thing to spend millions on floral installations; it’s another to spend that much while millions lose Medicaid and SNAP benefits. Bezos might’ve chased a tax break, but Rosie chased a moral high ground—and she’s gasping for fresh air up there.
Meanwhile, TMZ cameras caught Charlize Theron bailing on the wedding weekend, bluntly telling pals the guest list “flat-out sucked,” and Katie Couric quietly critiqued Sanchez’s bridal look. Those are tough crowds—imagine the Yelp review. Of course, none of it seems to faze Lauren, who’s polishing her couture armor faster than you can say “billion-dollar dowry.” If your new last name is Bezos, negative Yelp stars are just background noise.
Let’s pretend for a moment this isn’t just another billionaire pageant. Bezos has spent enough on flights to Mars; now he’s fueling Mars-style expenditure on Earth while Rosie issues an eco-moral plea from her Substack soapbox. She’s preaching fiscal responsibility between sips of cold tea—because nothing says “world peace” like roasting a wedding for being too lavish.
At the end of the day, Bezos got his fashion-forward bride and a tax dodge that probably costs more than most of us will earn in a lifetime. Rosie got her clicks, her outraged retweets, and another platform to lecture the 1%. And Lauren Sanchez? She’s sitting pretty in couture, ignoring the roast like a seasoned sitcom lead. Tune in next time for more epic weddings, existential crises, and the inevitable question: did anyone save a slice of cake for MacKenzie Scott?
Sources: Celebrity Storm and TMZ.com, People.com, Rosie O’Donnell’s Substack, Instagram
Attribution: Creative Commons Licensed
