Patti LuPone’s Dry Burn on Glenn Close’s Broadway Replacement
Nothing sparks a better Monday mood than Patti LuPone confessing she almost called Glenn Close a “bitch” after producers quietly swapped her out of Sunset Boulevard’s revival. The Tony titan dropped the bombshell during a May sit-down with Variety, explaining that she’d been tapped to play Norma Desmond—until an eleventh-hour reshuffle handed the megaphone to her fellow legend, Glenn Close. Because what’s Broadway without a little diva brinkmanship?
LuPone, whose resume includes Evita, Cats and Sweeney Todd, admitted on Marc Maron’s WTF podcast that she “was so blindsided” by the decision she considered unleashing that f-bomb live onstage. The New York Post first flagged the explosive quote, and People Magazine later authenticated the audio clip. When it rains theaterland drama, it pours—and this one came with the volume all the way up.
According to BroadwayWorld’s insider report, early casting announcements last December showcased LuPone’s name in bold headlines—only for a late-night memo to upend the entire lineup. Sources tell The Guardian this wasn’t just a simple schedule tweak: creative producers feared LuPone’s “take-no-prisoners style” might clash with director Jamie Lloyd’s streamlined vision, so they leaned into Close’s movie-star gravitas instead. Talk about swapping dynamos mid-rehearsal.
If there’s one thing Broadway devotees can’t resist, it’s a juicy backstage upset—preferably seasoned with a side of salty language. LuPone chuckled dryly when asked if she’d ever actually used the insult; she demurred, saying, “Fortunately, my restraint beats my impulse.” Meanwhile, Close has remained characteristically poised, politely declining to comment when approached by The Daily Mail outside her London home.
Social media blew up within hours: #LuPoneVsClose trended briefly as fans debated who’d deliver the more searing Desmond. Ticket brokers reportedly saw a bump in pre-sales, proving once again that controversy is Broadway’s most reliable understudy. Even theater critic Hilton Als echoed the sentiment in a June review for The New Yorker, noting that this real-life tussle has inadvertently become the show’s best marketing ploy.
Backstage veteran and director Jeremy Herrin told Deadline that drama of this magnitude rarely stays offstage—especially when two icons collide. LuPone has since hinted she’ll mine the whole saga for her upcoming cabaret tour, joking that she’s already drafted a song called “Bitch, Please” as a nod to her threshold moment. And just like that, the universe gives you front-row seats to Broadway’s latest act: egos on display, alliances tested, and a whisper of unfiltered truth.
So there you have it: theater royalty’s mild expletive fantasy, confirmed by multiple outlets and immortalized in podcast lore. Let’s pretend we learned something about professional decorum today. Tune in next time for more center-stage curveballs and spontaneous diva disclosures.
Sources: Celebrity Storm and Variety, New York Post, People Magazine, BroadwayWorld, The Guardian, WTF with Marc Maron podcast, The New Yorker, Deadline, The Daily Mail
Attribution: Creative Commons Licensed
