Millie Bobby Brown and Jake Bongiovi’s Baby Shopping Spree Is a Reminder That Nothing Is Sacred Anymore
Sage Matthews: Let’s just get this out of the way — of course Millie Bobby Brown and her husband decided to take their newly adopted baby on a shopping spree in Manhattan like it’s some kind of Hallmark card come to life. Because why not? If you’re going to start a family, might as well do it with enough designer labels to make Gwyneth Paltrow blush.
So there they were, wandering around SoHo like they hadn’t just stepped out of a lifestyle brand campaign. Prince Street, Fanelli’s Cafe, Louis Vuitton — all the usual suspects for people who want to be seen doing wholesome things while still dripping in luxury. And yes, they brought the baby. Not just *a* baby, mind you, but their recently adopted daughter, swaddled up like she was entering a witness protection program instead of a sidewalk café.
TMZ caught them at it — because of course they did — and let me tell you, nothing says “we’ve got this parenting thing figured out” like ignoring paparazzi questions while clutching your newborn like a Birkin bag. They even took turns holding the kid. Jake went full dad mode at Louis Vuitton, cradling the child like he was auditioning for a diaper commercial. Millie, meanwhile, looked serene, which is either genuine or the result of years spent perfecting that “I’m not being photographed right now” face.
This wasn’t their first rodeo, either. We saw them gallivanting around the Hamptons with the baby just weeks ago, so clearly they’re committed to this whole “we’re normal parents now” bit. Sure. Because nothing screams “average new parents” like strolling through SoHo with a baby wrapped in what I can only assume is $500 organic cotton.
Let’s not forget that Millie herself confirmed the adoption earlier this summer, barely over a year after tying the knot. Romantic getaway? Nope. Adoption proceedings. Because why wait when you can fast-track parenthood and immediately monetize it?
Look, I’m not saying they don’t love the kid. I’m just saying if this were a movie, it would be directed by someone who used to direct ads for baby shampoo. The lighting would be warm, the soundtrack soft, and somewhere in the background, a cynical voiceover would remind you that nothing ever goes according to plan.
Anyway, can’t wait to see how this gets worse.
Sources: Celebrity Storm and TMZ
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