Man Crashes Through Jennifer Aniston’s $21M Gate in Surreal Security Breach
Welcome to Hollywood’s finest reminder that a $21 million gate is only as good as the guy who installed it—or the one who decides to drive through it. On a quiet Monday morning, a 37-year-old man allegedly plowed his sedan right into the wrought-iron entrance of Jennifer Aniston’s Beverly Hills compound, according to the New York Post and corroborated by TMZ. Witnesses say the actor was inside rehearsing lines when the crash echoed through her $21 million estate.
The suspect, identified by the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department as Dean Tousignant, reportedly punched the accelerator rather than the brakes and sent splinters of gate and post careening into what should have been a fortress against random interlopers. No one was injured—unless you count the SUV’s dignity—but the incident left Aniston’s security team scrambling like a late-night pizza delivery crew realizing they’re out of mozzarella.
Los Angeles County booking records (via LA Sheriff’s Office) reveal Tousignant was arrested on suspicion of felony vandalism, trespassing and a dash of public intoxication. As of press time, he’s being held without bail. Law enforcement sources tell People magazine that he claimed he “just wanted a closer look,” which qualifies as the worst opening line since “Let me crash your yacht.”
Aniston’s rep declined to comment on the record—presumably to avoid encouraging more Gate-crashing Tours de Force—but friends say she’s “shaken but unbroken.” And really, what else can you do after shelling out seven figures for a pad only to have it tested by a potential Fast and Furious extra? The 54-year-old lead of Friend’s most epic spin-off ever reportedly considered installing bollards, but Word is she’s now eyeing a punching-bag-style deterrent labeled “Break Here for Free Admission.”
Security analysts chime in that celeb homes are magnets for both die-hard fans and die-hard lunatics. Social media exploded shortly after footage hit Instagram, with one user quipping, “Aniston’s gate is sturdier than some people’s relationships.” Another tweeted a stock photo of Michael Scott saying, “No, God! No, God, please no!”
Let’s roast the real loser here: the gate. Because if it can’t hold up against a subcompact sedan, did you really spend $21 million? Next time, maybe consider a chain-link fence and a guard goose. Or at least a ‘Beware of Dog’ sign that looks convincing.
Tune in next time for more tales of A-list insecurity and Z-list life choices—because apparently, stronger gates are the new red carpets.
Sources: Celebrity Storm and New York Post, TMZ, Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Office, People magazine
Attribution: Creative Commons Licensed
