Kris Jenner’s Surprising Wisdom: Keep Your Car Clean for Success

Here we go again, folks—another rich celebrity trying to drop some life wisdom as if we don’t already know the basics. Kris Jenner, the 69-year-old matriarch of the Kardashian-Jenner dynasty, recently shared her oh-so-enlightened advice with a group of high school graduates: keep your cars clean. Yes, you heard it right. The momager of the century thought this was groundbreaking enough to bring up during a chat on The Burnouts podcast with co-hosts Phoebe Gates and Sophia Kianni. Rolling her eyes at the initial surprise of the graduates, she elaborated that a clean car reflects one’s organizational skills and self-respect. Isn’t that just peachy?

Jenner elaborated on her disdain for mess—because who wouldn’t want to hear a wealthy woman complain about dirty french fries and crushed cups? “I could not think or be in a car like that,” she declared, as if the rest of us aren’t just trying to make it through life without a personal maid. She wistfully recounted her first car, a red Mazda hatchback, that she treated like it was a golden chariot. “I washed it once or twice a week myself,” she reminisced, as if we all have the luxury of time to scrub out our vehicles. The notion that maintaining a tidy car is linked to success and discipline is hardly a revelation, but here we are, pretending it is.

In a world where people often overlook the mundane, Kris Jenner is here to remind us that the state of your vehicle is indicative of your entire life’s direction. Really? Next, she might tell us to wear matching socks. Her comments about wanting to sneak a peek inside candidates’ cars during interviews—because that’s totally a valid metric for hiring—are almost laughable. The idea that your worth can be gauged by the cleanliness of your car is as ridiculous as it is relatable for those of us who are trying our best to juggle the chaos of life.

The podcast also had a sprinkle of millennial flair, with co-host Kianni dubbing Jenner the “CEO of having business rizz.” If that’s what it takes to be a “rizz master,” I guess we should all be taking notes—though I can’t help but wonder if the notes would be all crumpled and shoved in a messy glove compartment.

So, there you have it. Kris Jenner’s monumental advice about clean cars is just another reminder of the insane world we live in where basic cleanliness equates to potential success. I guess if you can’t have a clean car, you might as well drive a Bentley to cover it up. And that, dear reader, is why we can’t have nice things.

Sources: Celebrity Storm and People Magazine
Attribution: Creative Commons Licensed