Kimmel Claims He Saved Damon From Choking on Ribs — And It’s Even Weirder Than You Think
Avery Sinclair here, your favorite cynic with a side of skepticism and zero patience for celebrity nonsense. Oh, this should be *good*. Because nothing says “authentic friendship” like one Hollywood legend nearly dying from a pork rib while the other claims he saved him—on camera, no less. Let’s dive into the latest installment of the “Feud That Isn’t Really a Feud” saga between Jimmy Kimmel and Matt Damon, where the stakes are high, the ribs are questionable, and the internet is already three steps ahead with memes.
According to a new interview with Variety, Kimmel revealed a jaw-dropping moment that sounds more like a bad sitcom than a real-life near-death experience. The story? Damon, the Oscar-winning star of Good Will Hunting and The Martian, was over at Kimmel’s house for dinner. Kimmel, ever the culinary enthusiast, served up a rack of pork ribs. Damon, hungry and late, dove in like he was auditioning for a survival reality show. Then—chaos. A rib lodged itself in his throat. Not just any rib. A full-sized, meaty, chewy, probably slightly charred rib. And it stayed there for an hour and a half. Yes, you read that right.
Kimmel didn’t panic—oh no, he went full detective. “His brother was there,” he recalled, “and I said, ‘We have got to get him to the hospital,’ because if he dies in my house, I’m going to prison for the rest of my life. I will never be able to explain this as anything other than a murder.” Cue the dramatic music. This isn’t just about choking—it’s about legal liability, public perception, and the terrifying weight of hosting someone who might die on your watch. But instead of calling 911 immediately, Kimmel did what every rational person does when faced with a medical emergency: he Googled it. Specifically, he turned to YouTube.
After extensive research (and possibly a few frantic searches like “how to unstick rib from throat”), Kimmel and Damon’s older brother, Kyle, discovered the miracle cure: bread. Small pieces. Chewed slowly. Apparently, the theory is that the bread helps push the rib down by creating friction or pressure. Kimmel confirmed they tried the Heimlich maneuver multiple times, but “it was too far down.” So they resorted to the most unlikely solution in history: feeding a man a piece of bread to save him from choking on meat. It worked. The rib moved. Damon lived. Kimmel, meanwhile, now has a story that could go viral at any moment.
And yes, this incident comes amid their ongoing “feud”—a manufactured rivalry so well-documented it’s practically a franchise. Just last month, Damon and Ken Jennings competed on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, which Kimmel hosts. After Damon and Jennings won $1 million, Kimmel begrudgingly offered a handshake. “I’m begrudgingly going to shake your hand,” he said, dripping with sarcasm. The chemistry? Still electric. The tension? Real. The truth? Probably scripted, but hey, we’re not here for facts—we’re here for drama.
On a lighter note, Kimmel also took a swipe at the media narrative surrounding late-night TV. With CBS canceling The Late Show With Stephen Colbert after next year, pundits have been crying “the end of an era.” Kimmel? Not buying it. “Network television is declining,” he admitted, “but more people are watching late-night than ever before.” He compared the viewership to top-tier streaming platforms like Netflix and Hulu. “These alleged insiders who supposedly analyze the budgets… I don’t know who they are, but I do know they don’t know what they’re talking about.” When rumors surfaced that Colbert’s show lost $40 million annually, Kimmel called it “beyond nonsensical.” “There’s just not a snowball’s chance in hell that’s anywhere near accurate.”
So here we are: a man saved by bread after choking on ribs, a fake feud that’s somehow become legendary, and a late-night host refusing to believe the industry is dying. If this isn’t entertainment, what is?
And that’s today’s dose of reality. You’re welcome.
Sources: Celebrity Storm and Variety, New York Post
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