JoJo Siwa Ditches Ponytail for Bombshell Blonde Curly Bob
Fantastic. JoJo Siwa, the sparkle-ponytail pop princess, just swapped her signature pin-straight hair for a Bette Davis-inspired bombshell blonde curly bob—and yes, I’m here to roll my eyes through every twist. According to her TikTok drop on July 7, JoJo channeled Old Hollywood glam, crooning Kim Carnes’ 1981 hit “Bette Davis Eyes” in full vintage makeup: a classic red lip, rosy cheeks, and absolutely zero of her usual glittery eyelids. Clearly, someone at Siwa Enterprises decided that ditching the gravity-defying pony was a brilliant PR move—because nothing says “authentic artistic journey” like rebranding a viral cover.
In the video’s caption, JoJo confessed she recorded a studio vocal after the live-show feedback went through the roof. She teased fans with, “I’m undecided if I should release it on Spotify or not…. Would you want me to?!!!” Hard to imagine her audience saying no, especially after comments like “OBSESSED WITH YOU, THIS LOOK, THIS SONG, YOU ARE AN ICON” blasted in the TikTok section. And yes, multiple commenters (every single one from Planet Fanatic) urged her to rename the cover “Chris Hughes’ Eyes”—a cheeky nod to her new beau from Celebrity Big Brother U.K.
Speaking of which, JoJo opened up on Gyles Brandreth’s Rosebud podcast in June, gushing, “It’s a beautiful journey…serendipity is our favorite word now,” about finding love with Chris Hughes. She admitted she wasn’t even hunting for romance—she was dating Kath Ebbs during her Big Brother stint—yet, “After Big Brother, there was no other way,” she sighed to E! News. Ever the romantic, she insisted she never second-guessed choosing Chris and that their chemistry was “crystal clear,” which conveniently shields her from critics questioning her shift from identifying as lesbian to queer. Because obviously, nothing beats a well-timed hair makeover to distract from life changes.
Let’s not pretend JoJo’s the only celeb revamping locks lately—she’s just the most glittery example of a trend. Whether it’s a rainbow mohawk at the GLAAD Awards or a buzzcut debut in Tokyo, hair transformations now double as career milestones. But hey, I didn’t sign up to applaud every snip and curl; I’m just the Grumpy Guru reminding you nothing lasts forever—especially a high ponytail.
And that, dear reader, is why we can’t have nice things.
Sources: Celebrity Storm and E! Online, TikTok (July 7 video), Rosebud Podcast with Gyles Brandreth, E! News interview
Attribution: Creative Commons Licensed
