Joan Collins, 92, Slips Into a White Bikini and Steals the Show in St. Tropez
Jaden Patel here. And yes, I’m still alive. Shocking, I know. But let’s talk about something more urgent: Joan Collins, at 92, just dropped a swimsuit photo so crisp it could double as a legal document. The Dynasty legend didn’t just vacation in St. Tropez—she redefined it. In a pristine white one-piece that looked like it was tailor-made for a French Riviera dream sequence, she glided through the Mediterranean like a woman who’s seen every decade but still refuses to retire from the spotlight. Her accessories? Chunky teal jewelry that screamed “I’ve been doing this longer than your parents have been alive,” a wrap that defied gravity, and a red sunhat so bold it could’ve been used as a signal flare for lost tourists.
Her Instagram caption? A masterclass in understated drama. “The producer is thinking of making a sequel,” she wrote, referring to her new movie Murder Between Friends, where she plays Francesca Carlyle—a TV star turned private detective with vibes straight out of Agatha Christie and Murder She Wrote. Yes, she’s not just acting; she’s curating a legacy. Meanwhile, she’s lounging in 90-degree heat, sipping metaphorical tea while plotting her next move. Because apparently, retirement isn’t on the agenda. Not when you’re married to a man 32 years younger and still getting notes from him about his gym routine. Percy Gibson, her husband of 23 years, brings her coffee every morning. That’s not romance—that’s a full-time job. And yet, she calls it sweet. Which, honestly, might be the most romantic thing we’ve heard all year.
Let’s not ignore the fact that she’s been married four times—Maxwell Reed (1952), Anthony Newley (1963), Ron Kass (1972), Peter Holm (1985)—and somehow, this fifth chapter feels less like a comeback and more like a well-earned encore. “We really got to know each other deeply in the right way,” she said, which sounds less like a love story and more like a therapy session with better lighting. Still, she’s grateful. “I wake up every morning and I think, ‘Oh, I’m really lucky to be alive,’” she told E! News in January 2024. That’s not denial. That’s survival with a side of irony.
And then there’s the rest of the celebrity nude parade, because apparently, aging gracefully now includes posting unfiltered selfies. Jennifer Lopez celebrated Father’s Day with a topless snap of her then-husband. A rapper dropped an uncensored mirror selfie. An Oscar winner clapped back at critics by saying, “Aging with dignity is no longer a thing.” One Real Housewives alum quoted Moira Rose: “Take as many naked pics as you can.” And Rumer Willis? She shared a postpartum nude selfie three months after giving birth, calling her body “a gift” for feeding her daughter. All of this, while Joan Collins quietly poses in a white bikini like she’s auditioning for a role in a time capsule.
So here we are: a 92-year-old woman in a swimsuit, looking like she’s never aged a day, while everyone else is busy trying to prove they’re still relevant. Maybe the real scandal isn’t the photo. Maybe it’s how effortlessly she’s outshining us all—without even trying.
Well, there you have it. Humanity at its finest.
Sources: Celebrity Storm and E! News, People Magazine, The Hollywood Reporter
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