Golden Toilet Thief Convicted: A $6 Million Heist with Unrecoverable Spoils
This is a tale of absurdity you simply couldn’t make up: a golden toilet, valued at nearly six million dollars, was stolen from Winston Churchill’s birthplace, Blenheim Palace, and the saga just took another twist with the conviction of Michael Jones. Yes, you read that right. In a heist that sounds more like a plot twist from a heist film, Jones and his accomplices executed a meticulously planned burglary in 2019, making off with the 215-pound golden commode—an audacious act that has yet to see the toilet itself return to its rightful place. According to reports from the Associated Press, Jones, 39, was found guilty of burglary by the Oxford Crown Court, proving that even in the world of crime, the second act is rarely dull.
The toilet, crafted from 18-carat gold and titled “America” by satirical artist Maurizio Cattelan, was more than just a bathroom fixture; it was a statement on excess and greed. After being displayed at the Guggenheim Museum in New York, it was an installation that required advance appointments for viewing—because who wouldn’t want to see a golden toilet? Prosecutors detailed how Jones allegedly scouted the palace the night before, even using the toilet as part of his reconnaissance. Talk about “getting comfortable” before a big job! The burglary, executed with the finesse of a bad slapstick comedy, left the palace with significant damage and flooding, proving that crime doesn’t pay—at least not without a hefty cleanup bill.
Jones is the second man convicted in this bizarre case, following the mastermind James Sheen, who also pleaded guilty. Meanwhile, co-conspirator Fred Doe was convicted of conspiracy to transfer criminal property, while Bora Guccuk was acquitted. The golden throne, however, remains missing, with authorities suspecting it was chopped into pieces and sold off. Who knew a heist could lead to such a messy conclusion? In a world where art meets audacity, this case will certainly be remembered as a peculiar footnote in criminal history.
Sources: Celebrity Storm and People Magazine, Associated Press
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