Debby Ryan Unpacks Six Months of Grief in Jeff Baena Birthday Tribute
Fantastic, because nothing says “let’s celebrate” like a public deep dive into loss. Debby Ryan rolled her eyes—and ours—when she took to Instagram on what would have been director Jeff Baena’s 48th birthday to share a raw, six-month update on her grief (via E! News and Ryan’s own post). If you thought a birthday post was all balloons and cake, think again: this carousel of memories is more like a haunted house tour.
Ryan admits she’s never been a “public griever,” but here we are, getting front-row seats to her heartbreak. She spills the tea on how she’s “thought about him every day” since Baena’s suicide in January, calling him “the nucleus of this whole Jeff universe.” Translation? Everyone’s lost more than just a friend—Hollywood lost a collaborator and mentor whose impact “was heavy.”
In true Guru fashion, Ryan pokes holes in the myth of neat, linear grieving. She likens each emotion to “space stations I’ve docked at,” then drifts away again. Honestly, who writes better metaphors about feeling lost? That one’s on her. She hopes those “stations” become “satellites—always orbiting, often in view, but not a place to live.” I told you so: grief barely follows a script.
The Disney alum spills his personal highlights like they’re vintage trading cards. Baena was “generous,” “warm while principled,” and had a “casual lilt” that made debating him an extreme sport. His “standard for quality was in the ingredients—just like his casts.” Ryan name-drops their film team-ups: Horse Girl (2020) and Spin Me Round (2022), and—tragedy of tragedies—a planned third project. She gushes that he “believed in me” and gave her “the dignity of being taken at my present.” Aww, cue the violin.
Off-set, Baena hosted pandemic Zoom game nights, introduced Ryan to film festivals and fancy eateries, and let her tag along to “the most beautiful places I’ve worked.” When she and Josh Dun flew to Ohio, she “felt safe” knowing Baena’s creative door was always open. You’d think that kind of security would keep you from spiraling, but last January proved otherwise.
Now Ryan faces the uncomfortable task of speaking in past tense: “Trying to absolve guilt for not being able to save my friend. Trying to forgive my friend for taking my friend.” Six months of stories he’ll never hear. Six months of birthdays with a hole in the calendar. She ends with an almost optimistic nod to acceptance—but know this, dear reader: grief doesn’t clock out. And that, in case you missed it, is why public heartbreak posts are simultaneously cathartic and exasperating. Did anyone expect a neatly tied bow? No? Thought so.
Sources: Celebrity Storm and E! News (EOnline.com)
Debby Ryan Instagram Post
Attribution: Creative Commons Licensed
