Dakota Johnson’s Materialists Review: Charming Star in a Lackluster Matchmaking Tale
Grab your triple-shot mocha, because my brain’s jittering over Dakota Johnson’s latest flick, Materialists, and we need to unpack all the glitter and glitches pronto! Johnson, fresh off her Madame Web cameo, steps into the role of Tess, an ambitious Silicon Valley–style matchmaker who promises to algorithmically pair heartbeats, but script hiccups and pacing potholes turn her bigscreen comeback into a series of adorable near-misses.
Right away, Johnson’s trademark warmth and sly wit shine—she tosses off quips like confetti at a tech launch party. But screenwriters Emily Harper and Noah Flynn give Tess more charts than heart, and it shows. Critics at the New York Post note Tess “feels like a pilot episode without a promising arc” (nypost.com), while RogerEbert.com mused that Materialists “starts with a sprint but craters by midplay” in its second act. Ouch—but hey, we’re still rooting for our leading lady, folks!
Supporting players Nicholas Braun and Gemma Chan turn in sprightly performances as early adopters of Tess’s app, their chemistry zinging when scenes don’t drag. Director Alice Wu frames Los Angeles’s high-rise dating scene with gleaming visuals, yet the film trips over its own ambitions when it tries to balance razor-sharp satire with rom-com fluff. Variety even quipped that the movie “juggles too many shiny ideas, dropping most before anyone notices” (variety.com). Point taken, Variety.
Here’s some tea: the ensemble musical number in Act Three—yes, you read that right—feels so random it nearly steals the show, but it’s also the moment I’d rewind if only to see Johnson’s choreography faceplant in slo-mo. You might snicker, you might groan, but you’ll definitely blink in surprise. Meanwhile, the soundtrack squads pop bangers from Billie Eilish and upbeat EDM that underscore every awkward false start of a romance.
Is Materialists worth your precious streaming hours? I say yes—for Johnson’s magnetic delivery and a handful of scene-stealing one-liners. It’s like biting into your favorite pastry only to find the filling a tad underwhelming. But if you crave pure comfort viewing and don’t mind some narrative flat spots, it’ll do.
Whew! That was a LOT to process, but I swear, I could spill more beans about that surprise cameo by a certain Oscar winner (cozy little Easter egg alert!). Let’s catch up later when I’ve fully caffeinated my thoughts—promise, I’ll be just as hyper then!
Sources: Celebrity Storm and New York Post, RogerEbert.com, Variety
Attribution: Creative Commons Licensed
