Colorado Office’s Unwelcome 8-Foot Snake Surprise
Fantastic, it turns out your office pantry can double as reptile habitat—who knew? A Colorado Springs employee nearly choked on his morning bagel when an 8-foot boa constrictor slithered across the breakroom floor on February 9, according to People.com. Look, I don’t want to be the one to say it, but inviting a massive snake into your workspace is not exactly team-building. The startled worker screamed, “It scared the heck outta me,” before fumbling for his phone to alert El Paso County Animal Services (source: El Paso County Animal Services report).
The situation unfolded at a small business in El Paso County, where staffers routinely stash snacks and coffee in a corner pantry. Apparently, that corner doubles as a secret snake runway. By the time animal control arrived—props to them for moving faster than your typical IT response—the boa was curled up behind a shelving unit. Wildlife handler Bethany Jones told The Gazette that the nonvenomous boa, likely someone’s runaway pet, was calm once coaxed into a secure container. No office furniture was harmed, though one brave intern did attempt to adopt it on the spot. I told you so: maybe stick to goldfish as companions, folks.
Sources confirm the snake was safely relocated to a wildlife sanctuary east of town, courtesy of Colorado Parks and Wildlife. It’s unclear whose “pet” this was—there’s a fine line between animal lover and accidental smuggler, but I’m guessing someone skipped the paperwork. Local ordinances strictly prohibit exotic pets without proper permits, so expect a follow-up citation or two. And yes, this marks the second reported office reptile sighting in the region this winter—someone needs better hobby choices.
So what’s the takeaway? Keep your pantry door closed, mind your legal responsibilities if you’re into giant slithering pets, and maybe invest in a security camera that detects more than just missing staplers. If you’ve ever wondered how wildlife ends up in cubicle farms, here’s your unsolicited tutorial. Office politics are stressful enough without a 100-pound garden snake crashing your performance review.
And that, dear reader, is why we can’t have nice things.
Sources: Celebrity Storm and People.com, El Paso County Animal Services, Colorado Parks and Wildlife
Attribution: Creative Commons Licensed
