Carnival’s ‘Poop Cruise’ Fiasco: 4,200 Stranded with No Flush
Strap in, buttercup—imagine 4,200 souls adrift with no flush in sight and coffee going cold faster than you can say “poop cruise”! I’ve got the lowdown on Carnival Triumph’s epic 2013 meltdown, and trust me, this tale is wilder than any family reunion drama (and way grosser). Picture a four-day Caribbean getaway from Galveston promised to be sun, fun and endless buffets—only to turn into eight days of floating purgatory when a 5:30 a.m. engine-room fire zapped the power and knocked out the plumbing. Yeah, you read that right: the toilets stopped flushing, the AC gave up the ghost, and the hot meals vanished like free samples at a diet convention.
The timeline is bananas. On Feb. 7, 2013, Triumph set sail for Cozumel with 3,143 passengers and 1,086 crew. Three days later, on what was supposed to be the trip home, an automatic fire-suppression system tackled the blaze but torched the main power cables in the process. By 6:15 a.m., guests were back in bed—or hunting for what little shade the emergency deck lights could muster—while crew scurried to figure out how to keep 4,229 people from melting down in the heat. Then came the cringiest moment: someone realized the toilets weren’t working. Cue collective horror and the birth of Netflix’s Trainwreck: Poop Cruise, dropping bombshell interviews from cruise director Jen Baxter, who half-jokingly suggested peeing in the shower, then sobered up when it came to the real mess.
Enter the red biohazard bags—Triumph’s instant solution for “number two.” Guests like Ashley (on her bachelorette trip) famously shrieked, “What the f—?” when crew handed them emergency waste wretches. Devin Marble, who thought he’d bond with his fiancée’s clan over pina coladas, instead bonded over shared disbelief: “You want me to what?” Meanwhile, chef Abhi admitted, “I never thought in my weirdest dream I’d see a day when I had to poop in a red bag.” Talk about culinary nightmares.
Between powerless ice cream machines, sweltering hallways, and late-night bag pick-ups in the corridor, these sea-bound survivors endured a perfect storm of bizarre comedy and real indignity. Late-night shows from The Daily Show to SNL feasted on the fiasco, turning Triumph’s plight into global meme fodder. But for those onboard, Netflix’s new docuseries proves it was no laughing matter—though now they can swap war stories like epic party anecdotes.
So what’s next for Carnival’s beleaguered fleet? Will upgrades finally banish biohazard bags to history? Stay tuned, because if you thought this was the end of our floating misadventure saga, you ain’t seen anything yet—I swear, I could talk about this all day. After all that, someone get me a working bathroom, stat!
Sources: Celebrity Storm and E! Online, Netflix’s Trainwreck: Poop Cruise
Attribution: Creative Commons Licensed
