“The Poop Heist: A Bizarre Tale of Shoplifting and Distraction”
In a plot that could only be described as the most absurd of heist films, police have apprehended a couple dubbed “Mr. Clean” and “Ms. Dookie” for allegedly executing a shoplifting scheme that involved a rather unsanitary distraction—defecation. Tina Joyce, 57, is accused of relieving herself in a store while her accomplice, 36-year-old Nikevee Curry, made a mad dash with nearly $500 worth of cleaning supplies and beer. Yes, you read that correctly. If this isn’t a case for a cringe-worthy reality show, what is?
The bizarre incident unfolded in December, but the duo evaded capture until recently, thanks to a combination of community tips and diligent police work. Apparently, Joyce’s bowel movement was not merely a personal emergency but a strategic move designed to preoccupy a store employee. While the unfortunate staff member dealt with the cleanup, Curry made his escape, hopping into a getaway van. One can only imagine the chaos that ensued, with the store transforming from a retail environment to an unexpected scene of a crime.
Curiously, Joyce has a criminal history that raises eyebrows; she boasts 14 prior convictions for theft. One wonders if she has indulged in similar tactics before or if this was a unique moment of inspiration. The pair’s capture was facilitated when Curry found himself in custody for an unrelated battery charge in a neighboring county, at which point police presented him with surveillance footage from their “crappy caper.” Under the pressure of evidence, he confessed to his role in the unusual theft.
While shoplifting is hardly a new phenomenon—statistics from the National Association for Shoplifting Prevention estimate that around $13 billion worth of goods are stolen from retailers each year—this particular case stands out for its sheer ridiculousness. It serves as a reminder that crime can sometimes take the most unexpected forms, even involving the most basic human functions. As law enforcement continues to tackle the ongoing battle against retail theft, one can only hope that future criminals will opt for less unsavory methods.
Sources: Celebrity Storm and TMZ, National Association for Shoplifting Prevention, The Daily Beast
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