Kandi Burruss Swears By These $39 Amazon Heels For Fall Weddings—And Guests Are Shocked
Avery Sinclair here, your favorite cynic with a taste for the absurd and a nose for when something smells more like marketing than magic. If you’re looking for a glowing endorsement of fall wedding footwear, you’ve come to the wrong place. But if you want the unfiltered truth about why you’re being sold $39 heels as “Louboutin-adjacent,” strap in—pun absolutely intended.
Fall weddings: the season of pumpkin spice, awkward family photos, and shoes that promise comfort but deliver agony. Enter the so-called “most comfortable shoes for fall weddings,” a list curated by E! News and blessed by wedding guests who apparently have a very low bar for foot happiness. Among the featured footwear? A pair of Amazon heels that Kandi Burruss claims look like Louboutins. Because nothing says “I do” like pretending you spent $600 on shoes when you actually dropped $39.
Let’s start with the obvious: yes, these shoes exist. Yes, people are buying them. And yes, Kandi Burruss is apparently so impressed that she name-dropped them during an Amazon Live. Her words? “I’m shocked by how much I like this heel.” Wow. Groundbreaking. But let’s not pretend this is some fashion revelation. It’s a pointed-toe, patent-leather heel that comes in multiple colors and has a cushioned insole. Groundbreaking? No. Functional? Possibly.
The article goes on to list a dizzying array of flats, block heels, and strappy numbers, all supposedly vetted by real wedding guests. One merlot patent leather pair is praised for getting compliments and “being comfortable” at an outdoor wedding. Ground control to Major Retailer: people are still walking away from your shoes with feeling in their feet. Progress?
There’s also a nod to brown suede heels, which are apparently “perfectly fall.” Because nothing says autumn like pretending you’re not stepping on fallen leaves in someone’s backyard. And if you’re really committed to the bit, there are strappy green heels to pair with black tights. Chic? Sure. Practical? Debatable. The article even throws in a Mary Jane flat for the anti-heel crowd, because apparently, some of us still haven’t forgiven our feet for that one time we wore stilettos to brunch.
Sam Edelman and Loeffler Randall also make appearances, offering up their own versions of “dressy but walkable.” One gold pair from Loeffler Randall is described as “warm for fall” and “super easy to walk on.” Revolutionary. Truly. And if you’re only going to one wedding this season, there’s a $32 red-brown heel on Amazon that promises to do the trick. Because why invest in quality when you can rent a shoe for less than a dinner for two?
Let’s not forget the pièce de résistance: bow heels. Yes, the kind that scream “I tried too hard but at least I tried.” One shopper called them “the perfect shoe for a wedding,” citing the “cute accent bow” and ideal heel height. Because nothing says romance like a decorative flourish that could snag your dress mid-salsa move.
And in case you were wondering, yes, ballet sneakers also make a cameo as a “trend.” Because apparently, we haven’t learned from the athleisure apocalypse of the early 2010s. But hey, if you want to show up to a wedding in something that looks like it belongs in a Zumba class, who are we to judge?
In short: the article is a curated list of shoes that promise comfort, style, and affordability. Whether they deliver is another matter entirely. But hey, if Kandi Burruss is on board, maybe there’s something to this whole “Amazon heel” thing. Or maybe she just needed a new pair of shoes and got a free pair in exchange for a soundbite. You decide.
And that’s today’s dose of reality. You’re welcome.
Sources: Celebrity Storm and E! News
Generated by AI
