Nicetown–Tioga Erupts: Row Houses Collapsed in Pre-Dawn Blast
Nothing kick-starts a Sunday morning like waking up to an impromptu demolition project courtesy of random chemistry. Early Sunday at 4:30 AM ET, three adjacent row houses in Philadelphia’s Nicetown–Tioga neighborhood “exploded in on themselves,” according to Acting Philadelphia Fire Department Chief Daniel McCarty. Firefighters rushed in looking less like heroes and more like unwilling contestants in a hot tub challenge, hosing down the smoking ruins until the flames finally conceded.
Photos released by PFD show soggy brick walls leaning at odd angles and a lone dog wandering over the debris with its tongue lolling out—as if mildly inconvenienced by the entire catastrophe. If you’d been hoping for an uplifting neighborhood watch story, tough luck: a local ABC affiliate confirms one woman died and two others were injured in the blast. At this point, you’ve got to wonder if next-door neighbor disputes will start including “I’ll see your heated argument and raise you an explosion.”
Authorities still don’t know what sparked the kamikaze row houses. Gas leak? Electrical malfunction? Mad scientist living above a nail salon? Your guess is as good as the investigators’. Meanwhile, the PFD insists the blaze is under control, which is a polite way of saying “we’ve stopped watching random chunks of plaster rain down on our helmets.” The city even set up a reception center at Edward T. Steel Elementary with the Red Cross to handle the suddenly homeless. Because nothing says “comfort food” like school cafeteria mystery meat after your kitchen has been vaporized.
In true urban disaster fashion, volunteers are handing out snacks, blankets, and sympathetic smiles—just the kind of community bonding you don’t get during block parties. If irony had a press release, this would be it: people flocking to an elementary school because their homes chose to implode. Philadelphia officials are coordinating utility assessments, likely double-checking that water, gas and electricity aren’t auditioning for their own explosive performances next.
As of now, the investigation remains open, and residents are left piecing together daily routines around caution tape and gawkers with smartphones. The city promises updates once they’ve ruled out the more embarrassing causes. In other words, they’ll let you know if it turns out to be a rogue barbecue or an antique firework stored in an attic for decades. Tune in next time for more catastrophic real-estate makeovers and questionable life choices. Let’s pretend we learned something today.
Sources: Celebrity Storm and TMZ, ABC 6 Philadelphia, Philadelphia Fire Department (@PhillyFireDept)
Attribution: Matt Rourke (Creative Commons)
