André 3000’s Piano and Other Met Gala Accessory Disasters
Let’s file this under “The world really has run out of sensible ideas.” The Met Gala—where self-importance meets fashion—hit peak absurdity this year when André 3000 showed up hauling a fully functional baby grand piano down the red carpet. Of course he did, because nothing says “avant-garde” like lugging 600 pounds of ivory keys in stilettos. In the grand tradition of Met Gala excess, we’ve seen plenty of over-the-top accessories that only remind us how deeply this cultural ship has already sunk.
Rewind to 2019, when Jared Leto strolled in carrying a life-sized replica of his own severed head (Vogue, People). That little stunt screamed, “Let’s all question my sanity—and yours.” Or remember Lady Gaga’s 2013 telephone hat? Yes, she dialed 1-800-eccentric while blithely ignoring the rubber chicken world outside the Met’s gilded doors (Entertainment Weekly, E! Online). And who could forget Katy Perry’s mysterious rice bag purse at the 2017 event, as if saying, “Global hunger? Never heard of it” (Cosmopolitan, WWD).
Certain accessories ended up reminding us of Disneyland rejects. Solange Knowles once wore a miniature model train atop her head, chugging through a theme-park-meets-fashion nightmare. On that same spectrum of questionable choices, Iris Apfel’s Gucci-inspired pizza slice purse looked like expelled cafeteria fare. But nothing prepared us for André’s piano backpack—an ungainly fusion of musical genius and sheer pretension. At least he didn’t try riding it onto the carpet; give him that.
Each selection feels more like a dare: can I top last year’s cringe-fest? This year answered with a deafening yes. While some attendees opted for crystal-encrusted birdcages or propeller-powered hats—because wind resistance is obviously haute couture—André leaned into the unthinkable: a grand piano, complete with lacquered wood finish and functioning pedals. One can only imagine the backstage logistics: movers in tuxedos, tuning technicians hiding behind Balenciaga drapes, and fire marshals on standby.
If this cavalcade of impractical eye candy tells us anything, it’s that celebrity fashion is officially beyond redemption. Every outrageous choice cements the Met Gala’s reputation as a playground for the self-absorbed, where common sense checks its coat at the door. So, cheers to André 3000’s piano and all the other accessories that promise discomfort, confusion, and a headline-worthy spectacle. At this point, should we even pretend to be surprised when next year someone brings a petting zoo—or better yet, a fully operational space shuttle?
Sources: Celebrity Storm and People Magazine, Vogue, Entertainment Weekly, E! Online, WWD, Cosmopolitan
Attribution: Creative Commons Licensed
